Tuesday, July 29, 2014

Anniversaries Aren't Always Good.

    I'm currently waiting for this cycle to end. I had a promising chart this month, very promising, but I can feel that the end is near and it's hitting me harder than I thought. After 27 cycles you learn the signs and know when to stop getting your hopes up. 
The end of this month marks 2 years. 
Yes, many have tried much longer than I, but it still hurts. Sadly, this pain can't be cured by ice cream and wine, even though I try every month. 

    I don't know what we're going to do. We've met with some friends who are adopting to get some first hand information and discuss fears and apprehensions. 
 My follow up appointment to discuss test results and treatment plans is on Monday.
 My birthday.

    A positive pregnancy test would have been a really nice birthday present. The last two birthdays have had a cloud over them. If I had known that it was going to take this long and be this hard, I never would have started trying for a family the same month as my birthday.

    It's also been exactly 1 year and 11 days since my miscarriage.

Time for more ice cream.

    I haven't been good about talking to God about the pain. I don't know why I'm not, I really don't struggle with bitterness towards Him
. Yes, I often wonder why terrible people have children, while deserving ones go through the silent struggle of loss and infertility. It would be strange not to. But I don't blame Him for my loss, and I don't blame Him for my infertility. He grieves with me, I know.

   I will still trust You.


Sunday, July 13, 2014

Cheesecake, Lemonade, and Jewelry!

Sound like the recipe for a perfect weekday girls night?
Well you're right, because it is!

My wonderful friend, Bethany, hosted a Lia Sophia party at her house last Tuesday.
I was asked to bring cheesecake and cupcakes.
The theme was pink and yellow.
I promptly broke out my KitchenAid and got to work.
The result?

Strawberry Irish Creme Cheesecake

Lemonade Cupcakes
(with straws, of course!)

It was my first Lia Sophia party and I had so much fun. I can't believe I hadn't gone to one before.
My jewelry is going to be delivered this week and I can't wait!

Photos taken by Bethany Burt of Rose Colored Glasses Photography.
If you have a wedding coming up you seriously need this husband/wife team in your life!
(Bonus: She does some incredible Boudoir Photography, too!)