I hear a
lot of conflicting emotions when it comes to IVF, or fertility treatments in
general.
"It's
abortion!"
"It's
taking matters into your own hands!"
"It's
playing God!"
"You're
going against God's will!"
Most of
these ideas come from ignorance (before anyone gets upset the definition of
ignorance is: a lack of knowledge or information). Obviously fertility
treatments and infertility are something that is close to my heart, and
something that I've done a lot of research and praying on. I'm here to give you
the facts on IVF and what I have come to truly believe about God and fertility.
"It's
abortion!"
I am not
here to discuss pro-life vs pro-choice. I'm discussing things that have been
said, whether to me or others considering or going through IVF. The people who
say this are, obviously, pro-life, so that is the position from which I will
answer and the stance from which I will defend IVF.
The reason
this comes up is because sometimes there are things a couple (or individual)
can chose to do during IVF that is considered abortion when you are pro-life.
Multiple embryos can be transferred in hopes of getting one to stick. Sometimes
they will all take, resulting in an extremely high risk multiple pregnancy. The
course of action typically taken is 'selective reduction', or aborting all but
one or two. This is very rare. The majority of doctors do not transfer more
than 1-3 embryos, and even 3 isn't incredibly common in my experience. A twin
or triplet pregnancy is considered high risk but generally not life
threatening, and there is no need for selective reduction.
The other
reason that this argument comes up is that the way IVF works when it comes to
fertilization. The embryologist will fertilize as many eggs as they can,
sometimes resulting in as many as 15-20 embryos, or babies. Obviously couples
will not implant 20 babies. So what happens to the 'leftovers'? Well first of
all not all of the embryos will survive. Some will die. The same embryos that
would have miscarried or never implanted in the first place will pass just like
they would have in the uterus. You can take the healthiest embryo and inject
the healthiest sperm and give them the best environment but you cannot force
them to fertilize or grow.
Now lets
say you are left with 10 healthy embryos. You probably won't plan to have 10 babies.
Again, your numbers go down. Not every embryo will implant. You can take the
healthiest blastocyst (a 5 day old embryo) and put it in the healthiest uterus
but no one can do anything to force it to implant and grow. By then you could
only have 6 embryos left.
Now what
if you only want 1 or 2 kids? What happens to the other 4 or 5? Well, this is
where to beauty and gift of science comes in, once again! You can freeze them.
Through my research I have found that the technical shelf life of a frozen embryo
is 13 years, but most doctors agree that an embryo can be frozen almost
indefinitely. This is wonderful news for couples who can only conceive through
IVF because it means that you can put your embryos on ice and in a few years
when you're ready to expand your family you don't have to go through the egg
retrieval and fertilization process again.
Some
couples, however, don't want to use more than 1 or 2. Ever. You are still left
with 4 or 5 unused, healthy babies. Legally you can throw them away. I can see
where this poses an issue with those who are pro-life. You are discarding
babies. But did you know that most clinics have internal embryo adoption
programs available? Or that there are websites where you can connect with
couples who can't have biological children and are looking for embryos to
adopt? Isn't this beautiful?! Through your infertility you can help others
going through the same thing have a baby, too! There are so many options for
embryo storage and transfer now that it's very rare for an embryo to be
discarded, and even more rare for a doctor to recommend discarding of the
embryos.
"You're taking
matters into your own hands!"
"You're playing God!"
"You're going against God's will!"
"You're playing God!"
"You're going against God's will!"
God
doesn't make people infertile. Infertility, miscarriage, and infant/child loss is not part of God's perfect plan.
The bible is full of examples of barren women crying out to God and finding
nothing but comfort in Him. He never rebukes them. God told us to be fruitful
and multiply (Genesis 9:1). That children are a blessing from the Lord. People
try to treat our world like it's a world made new by God. It isn't yet. Satan
still "roams the earth" (Job 1:7). Broken things happen because we
live in a broken world ruled by the consequence of our sin.
A lot of
the indifference and un-compassionate mindsets towards infertility come from the
refusal to acknowledge it for what it is. A disease. No one views it as
acceptable to walk up to someone with cancer and say, "Get over it. It's not
a big deal. It happened because God wants it to. If you try to treat your
disease then you're sinning. Accept it and just pray you don't die." If
someone said that to a friend with a severe illness we would be horrified. So
why, then, is it ok to tell someone with infertility to stop grieving and
accept that God wants them to be infertile?
I will
admit it. I'm bitter. I hate that I, and others, have had to feel the pain of
infertility, miscarriage, and infant loss. But you know what I'm not bitter towards?
God. I'm not bitter towards God because I know that He didn't do this to me and
that His heart breaks with mine. To be honest I don't know how someone can go
on with the mindset that God made them sick. Sometimes God is all I have to
cling to. God and the knowledge that He didn't want this pain for me. In His
perfect world there wouldn't be infertility or death. That's how I know it's
not caused by God.
While it
is not ok to place having children above your devotion to God, it's also not
wrong to seek healing from infertility. God created science. He gave us brains.
He meant for us to use them. In the above section I talked about the
fertilization and implantation process being out of human hands. You can have
the perfect embryo in the perfect uterus but there is nothing anyone can do to
force that baby to grow. Only God can do that. IVF is a miracle. Just like
chemo and the IVIG treatment I get for my DM. Just like penicillin and casts.
To write off medical treatment is like writing off science. And if you're going
to do that then you have to give up electricity. Cars. Stoves. Houses. Indoor
plumbing. TV. Etc. All of those things happened because of science.
Now that
we've discussed the fact that God doesn't make people infertile, let's move on
to 'taking matters into our own hands' and 'playing God.'
Once
again, nothing that any human can do can force a baby to implant and
grow. Nothing. To say that fertility treatments are taking matters
into my own hands is saying that I have the power to force a baby to grow and
be born. You are saying that I have the same power as God (obviously I don't). IVF is only around 60% effective at the highest level. It does not guarantee a baby. Only God can make that
baby implant. I don't have the power to make myself have a baby. All I can do
is utilize the gift of science that God gave us.
People say
that if you are unemployed and need a job, you can't just sit on your couch and
expect a CEO to knock on your door asking if you can start tomorrow. You need
to go out and do interviews. Seek the job, and pray for God's strength and will
along the way. Why is infertility any different? I'm not going to sit on the
couch and hope a baby suddenly appears in my uterus. We have a disease, and
we're going to seek a cure. I believe that God's miracle is waiting for us in a
form other than natural/traditional/PIV conception.
I want to
make clear that I do believe that someone can have a personal conviction
against fertility treatments (or anything really). I call this a 'personal
legalism'. You may feel like God has called you not to do anything other than
sex in order to try to conceive, and that's 100% ok. What is not ok is when you
feel like medical help is wrong for you, that it's wrong for everyone else as
well. God spoke to me about my situation. He did not speak to you about my
situation and leave me out of the conversation. You don't know people's
personal relationships with God and you don't get to tell other people what to
do just because you feel a certain way. I completely respect people's right to
feel that medical treatment, fast food, soda, alcohol, or makeup are wrong.
What I don't respect is when they try to impose their will onto me. You're not
God. Don't act like it. Not everything is laid out black and white in the
bible. Sometimes we have to talk to God about it to find out what our path is.
Everyone has a different path, that's the beauty of it all.
In the
end, one of my biggest points is that yes, IVF can be displeasing to God when
done a certain way. So can sex. And food. And entertainment. God created sex as
something so good, but people pervert it all the time. Does that mean that all
sex is bad? Of course not. Gluttony is one of the 'seven deadly sins' yet we
don't make food off limits. That would be ridiculous. There are many books,
movies, and television shows that are pure filth and totally dishonoring to
God. Does that mean we can never read or watch TV again? I certainly hope
not.
Every good thing can be and has been perverted. That doesn't make it off limits. It simply means that we should strive to do those things in a way that is honoring and pleasing to God.
Every good thing can be and has been perverted. That doesn't make it off limits. It simply means that we should strive to do those things in a way that is honoring and pleasing to God.
Thank you for writing this. As a Christian who also struggled with infertility and got pregnant through IVF this is exactly what I have thought. Although we have kept how we were able to conceive widely quiet to avoid the opinions I was not ready to deal with. As I get farther along in my miracle pregnancy I feel more and more prepared to defend my decision and maybe help the next person not feel so alone.
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DeleteBeautifully said.
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You are just making reason sound good. Not good sound reason. Read the bible and ask the Holy Spirit for understanding because not everybody is given, especially those who have already decided what is right.God has given everybody a free choice to do things according to His laws or the devil.Its your choice because you will be judged by the choices you made at the resurrection. GOD BLESS.
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ReplyDeleteThis comment has been removed by the author.
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With the help of a man called Dr.Ogbes I was able to get pregnant. i'm 56years of age, it was really difficult for me to pregnant though my husband loves me but it was really hurting me not having my own child but after many years I came across Dr.Ogbes whose email address is Landofanswer@hotmail.com or you reach him direct on his cell phone number +2347050270227 he told me he is going to send me a Herbs for me to drink, and will fall pregnant a week after drinking the Herbs I'm 7months pregnant now and also I will like to advice everyone looking for help to get pregnant to contact this very man via his email address at Landofanswer@hotmail.com or call him on his cell phone number +2347050270227.
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Thank you for sharing your experiences with us all.
My partner and I have been trying for a baby for over 11years, We were going to a fertility clinic for years before somebody told me to contact this spell caster who is so powerful called Agbazara Temple for him to help me get pregnant,And I'm glad we contacted DR.AGBAZARA, Because his pregnancy spell cast put us at ease, and I honestly believe him, and his powers really helped us as well, I am thankful for all he has done. contact him via email at: ( agbazara@gmail.com ) if you are trying to get a baby, he has powers to do it.
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ReplyDeleteHello,
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It all started when me and my Husband quarrelled for almost two and a half years juts because I was not able to give him a child , we were I'm dispute..
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