Monday, May 9, 2016

Mother's Day | PGAL

    


    My first Mother's Day. 
    A lie. This isn't my first, it's my fourth. It's just the first one when I was included in "Happy Mother's Day!". It's my first Mother's Day that I didn't celebrate alone. The first when I didn't wonder if I should stand or accept flowers, because, doesn't that make it awkward? The first when I didn't get asked, "Do you consider yourself a mother? Should I get you something?"
    There are those that acknowledged me as a mother before, it's not as if no one cared or no one realized or understood. But in society you're not one of the "Mother's Day Moms" until you have a big belly or a living child. There are so many more moms than we realize, because so many of those mom's never got to meet their baby. For PGAL (Pregnant After A Loss) moms, Mother's Day will always be bittersweet. There will be chubby hands with flowers and a big breakfast and wet kisses. There will also be sets of hands missing, flowers that didn't get picked, and empty spots at the table.  You struggle with aching for your missing baby, or babies, while knowing that if they had lived the one you have probably wouldn't be here. It's a mix of emotions and some days it's easier to forget than others.
    This was the first Mother's Day that was bittersweet instead of sad. There was joy mingled in my grief, and though my heart aches for my little ones that were lost, I wouldn't trade my life for anything. Money, naivety, health, or control. Because I treasure who I've become and how I've changed and where I am in God. I treasure those moments we had with our babies. The moments, however fleeting, that we were a family. If I could speak to them now I would tell them, "I'm glad I knew about you." 
    To my sisters, the mothers that don't get recognized on Mother's Day, know that you are mommies. As much as anyone else. Fighters and warriors and the bravest women I know, your struggle is not forgotten, and neither are you.






25 comments:

  1. Hey, Macy! I'm a writer (and fellow infertility mama!) working on a piece for Babble about your IVF Instagram picture (which I LOVE, by the way!) They are asking for a quick turnaround, but I would love to talk to you if possible before sending it over. I can't find your contact information, but please e-mail me if you get a chance: leah.campbell@hotmail.com. Hope to connect soon!

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  2. Hello. I came across your blog from yahoo and wanted to say that it struck a chord with me. My wife and I both deal with infertility issues and we finally had our first child through IVF treatments. When we were going through it, it felt like we were the only ones who had to deal with that, but to see your stories, and see your struggles, its reassuring that we weren't alone and still aren't alone as we battle for a second child. thank you for your courage to tell your story.

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    Replies
    1. James, infertility can feel so lonely! Even from your spouse. I'm so happy that you were able to get pregnant and have your baby. Good luck as you embark on your journey for a sibling, I hope and pray that it's as short as possible! :)

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  3. Hi Macy!

    We'd like to do a story about your pregnancy announcement for Inside Edition. Can you email me at Rebecca.zamer@cbs.com?

    Thanks!

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  4. Hello. I saw your announcement as I was looking at MSN, and it struck a chord with me as well. My husband and I struggled for 2 years trying to get pregnant. He was fine, but I have PCOS. We tried everything from clomid, Insemination, and 2 rounds of IVF ( 2nd round they told me I was pregnant, by the time I got there two days later for the blood draw, I was no longer pregnant). Our last ditch effort was a frozen embryo transfer, if it didn't work, then we would have to reconsider our quest. It worked, and very well - we ended up having b/g twins. 2 years later we got our "miracle" baby without any help from anyone. A very long, sad, frustrating, heart wrenching, happy, wouldn't change it for anything journey. I appreciate you writing about "normal" people like us who have to travel this journey without expensive doctors, unlimited funds, etc. The twins are now 13, and our younger boy is 11. Thank you for telling your story, and congratulations on your little one.

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    Replies
    1. A belated congratulations on your sweet babies! I'm so glad that it worked out for you! :) It was hard opening up about my journey but I've seen now that it was the right thing to do. Infertility can feel so isolating :(

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  5. I cried while reading through your instagram/blog. Your story is truly inspirational. I've never realized how conceiving a baby is taken for granted, even speaking from personal experience. I have not had a struggle with IVF or fertility luckily, but I feel deeply for the struggle you have had! I am so happy that you are going to deliver a beautiful baby after everything you have been through!! <3

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    Replies
    1. Mikayla,
      Your words mean so much! You have no idea how much it means to me, and other men and women with infertility, to hear someone who didn't struggle with having children express so much empathy. I'm so glad that you didn't have to know the struggle, and so thankful that you are so kind and compassionate!

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  6. Macy, have you ever been tested for the MTHFR Genetic Polymorphism? We (MTHFRs) are famous for infertility and miscarriages. Dr. Ben Lynch is an expert on the subject. Check out MTHFR.net, and all the groups on FB and the WWW. Best wishes as you go! What an exciting journey! Blessings to you and your family!

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    Replies
    1. Hi! I have an autoimmune disorder and have been tested for just about anything and everything under the sun. ;) Our infertility and losses are due to Male Factor Infertility and Endometriosis.

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  7. I enjoy reading your posts and I have nominated you for the Liebster Award on my blog.

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  8. Nice to see this post for Mother's Day and you have mention some nice pictures which is really attractive in this post...nice post

    Covid

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  9. Awesome. Congratulation. Great news. That's is nice picture too.

    IVF centre in India

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  10. Don’t think of anything else just contact priest eka and purchase some of his herbal medication and your depression will go away. This was my state of mind when my doctor told me that i will not be able to concieve due to the Fibroid that was rolling in my family life and when i decide to reach out to the priest, and the priest told me what to do in other to get the medication. Eventually I receive all the Herbal medications that cure my Fibroid and give me the chance to become a proud mother: Eka is a great spiritualist, He did it for me, you can contact Eka on (dreka14demons@gmail.com). If you are suffering from the following gynecology disease::
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    Simply contact the spiritualist DrEka on (dreka14demons@gmail.com) to get his Herbal Medication to cure your disease and put yourself on a motherhood side of life..

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  11. Don’t think of anything else just contact Dr Abalaka and purchase some of his herbal medication and your depression will go away. This was my state of mind when my doctor told me that i will not be able to conceive due to the Fibroid that was rolling in my family life and when i decide to reach out to the priest, and the Priest told me what to do in other to get the medication. Eventually I receive all the Herbal medications that cure my Fibroid and give me the chance to become a proud mother: Dr Abalaka is a great spiritualist, He did it for me, you can contact Dr on (dr.abalaka@outlook.com). If you are suffering from the following gynecology disease::
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    ReplyDelete
  12. I have large uterine fibroid and multiple fibroid all over my womb (womb measures 15cm). I had a uterine fibroid embolisation in April last year. Before this treatment my womb measured 23cm. I still suffer every month with period pain, large blood clots and heavy bleeding. I was wondering if i would ever be okay,i try medications on hospital,the fibriod stay remain the same,my husband how has been taking care of me before abandon me,because i was unable to get pregnant for him,i was praying to God to help me out,i was chatting on facebook i sure a link,of a testimony of a man,on how Dr Ebhota help him to cure her wife fibriod,with his herbal medication,for over 6 years,after dr Ebhota treatment his wife got conceive with in two months,that was how i make up my mind to contact him,when i contact him there was no respond for two days,i was waiting for his respond,the third day he respond to me,that was how i explain every thing to him,that was how we make am agreement,the following week of it,he send the herb to me,he gave me instruction on how i am going to be drinking the herbal potion,for 21 day,after the herb got finish,i went my doctor in hospital,with the doctor report shows that the fibriod has totally reduces to 3cm,immediately i call Dr Ebhota with happiness and send the cope of the result test to him,after that he also send a fertility herb to me,i am so happy,i am 3 month pregnant now,for any one out there that is passing true this problem should call him,+2349035324155 or email him,drebhota123456@gmail.com,Dr Ebhota,God we always empower you and bless you to do your good work to people.

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  16. After many years of marriage with a wonderful husband no child until God use Dr.Ogbes to help me with his roots and herbs , first i thought the testimonies i see about Dr.Ogbes how he help women to conceive was not real but now i have confirm it my self with full assurance there is nothing God can not do thank you once again Dr.Ogbes for your help.you can email him or call via>>> landofanswer@gmail.com or call +2347050270227.

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  17. An amazing testimony on on how i conceive, also cure from fibroid, i wonder why people still don't believe that roots and herbs are very essential and fruitful in different aspect, especially when you can't conceive and bear children. I am a living witness because I tried all I could to be pregnant but all to no avail, on this faithful day, i decided to check the net for updates on healthy living and i came across testimonies of lot of women who Elikem Healing Herbal Remedies has helped with her herbs to conceive. i decided to put a try because this has been my greatest problem in life so I emailed {Elikem Healing Remedies} , and she told me what to do which i did, after which he sent me some roots and herbs syrup and gave me step by step guild lines on how and when to have sex with my man. I missed my menstrual flow within a short period of taking it, and the doctor confirmed that I am pregnant. I am very glad to tell the world that I just put to bed a bouncing baby boy last week. Contact Elikem Healing Herbal Remedies for your own testimony on: (elikemremedies@yahoo.com).

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